Self-Care isn't Selfish

Despite what hustle culture wants you to believe, self-care isn't selfish and I'm going to explain why...

What is Self-Care?

I believe that the idea of self-care is often misconstrued in today’s culture. Spas and elaborate girls’ days have made way for this idea that self-care is a mani-pedi and massages. While those things can certainly be considered self-care, I like to think of it as a more abstract and nuanced concept.

Self-care, to me, is anything that you do for yourself that is productive in nature. What do I mean by that? Productivity could come in the form of resting and recharging or it could come in the form of a traditionally productive activity like doing the laundry.

The key phrase of my definition is ‘that you do it for yourself,” not for anyone else or not because someone else says it will help you. If the self-care you’ve chosen doesn’t serve you, it’s not self-care.

Hear me out. For me, getting a massage is a great form of self-care, but I can afford it at this point in my life. There was a time in my life when I couldn’t afford a massage and getting one would just dig me further into debt. At that point, massages weren’t serving me. Maybe they provided an hour of comfort and relaxation, but as soon as that credit card bill hit, I was even more stressed than before. Self-care should do more good than harm.

Self-Care isn't Selfish: Here's Why

This idea of the American Dream has instilled a belief in a lot of us that we need to be working and building people up at all times. By contrast, some people might assume that self-care could be perceived as selfish. Let me just take some time to completely blow up that notion right now because it’s a load of crap. Self-care is about as selfish as eating or sleeping. Why? It’s simple, you cannot show up for yourself and those around you if your tank is empty.

I used an analogy once on my blog that I’ll use again here. Imagine using your phone without ever charging it. Eventually your phone would stop working altogether. Our brains and minds work in a similar way, we can go for long periods of time without a recharge, but if we never recharge we’ll eventually just stop working. You can go as far as to say that along the way, as you get more tired, you will become increasingly less effective and efficient.

Self-care isn’t selfish because it gives our brains and minds the necessary time to recharge and be more effective when we’re back to work. I say that it should be something productive because if you are recharging your brain, you are being productive.

People, myself included, tend to get caught up in these ideas of what self-care needs to look like and what it can’t possibly look like. It’s generally synonymous with lavish baths and spa treatments, instead of getting to the root of what it really is and is meant to be, taking care of oneself.

Self-care isn’t measured by the amount of money spent or how rested you look afterwards, it’s measured by how you feel.